New Year's Revolutions

I’m sure that just about everyone I know has made New Year’s resolutions for themselves at some point in their lives. I certainly have. In the last few years, though I have gone away from that as a practice. I’ve come to think that, as a Believer in Christ, I have access to the power of change at any time. I do not have to use start of a new year as an arbitrary point in time to start allowing the omnipotence of God to do its thing in my life. However, I also realize that utilizing the cultural tradition we have of starting off the new year with plans to improve our lives is not necessarily a bad idea. It is useful to have the support and company of millions of other people who are likewise trying to improve their lives, but only if the other people you are connected with in your social web are actually going to hold you accountable and allow you to hold them accountable in return. I think sometimes that people set goals for themselves at the start of a new year because they know that they can cop out in a few weeks and join the masses who make setting New Year’s resolutions the societal joke that it has become in so many ways. So, in light of this, may I be so bold as to make some suggestions based on my faith and my professional and personal experience on ways to make your resolutions (whether they co-occur with the New Year or not) achievable and fruitful? (If your answer is no, please consider that you don’t have to finish reading this. :o)

1.) A very wise coach and dear friend of mine taught me this ever-so-important lesson: make sure the goals you set are ones that depend on things YOU control, not anyone else around you. If you set goals that are dependent on things you don’t control, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment when the people around you don’t do what you want them to. And we all know how often that happens!

2.) Remember that we are all human, and therefore imperfect. I know we would love to think otherwise, especially those of us who are slightly (or severely!) OCD or perfectionistic. (I include myself in this group, so you’re in good company if you do too!) When we set goals for ourselves and do not take into account the inevitable stumbles and sidetracks off our planned path, it becomes very easy to give up altogether and condemn ourselves for failure. Likewise, sometimes we become so paralyzed by fear of these little stumbles that we never start in the first place. It is imperative for success that we plan for the stumbles we will always encounter as imperfect people and show ourselves grace and mercy when they occur. Most importantly, GET BACK ON THE HORSE! I have seen so clearly this year in the life of someone very close to me how failing to get up, dust yourself off, and persevere in your efforts can end up paralyzing you. The fear of failure becomes a bigger and bigger beast that eventually is your enemy in and of itself, regardless of what you were originally fearing. If the creator of the universe can show us unlimited grace and mercy in our flawed stated, how can we do less than to show that grace and mercy to ourselves.

3.) You all know that I am a therapist for my day job, and one part of that is writing treatment plans. A lot of treatment plans. It’s a little crazy making at times, but it is important to set a plan for the change we are helping our clients achieve and then check back to see how we are doing. One of the tricks to writing a good treatment plan is to make the goals achievable and quantifiable. It’s pretty tricky to make things like reducing depression and managing schizophrenia quantifiable, but it is possible. The trick I’ve found is to realize that your target is not perfection, but rather improvement. If you aim to heal someone with schizophrenia, you are totally doomed to be both unsuccessful and disappointed. Rather, we aim for measurable, achievable goals. The same thing holds for setting goals in our every-day personal lives. So many people set goals to lose weight or quit smoking or whatever they are hoping for, but they just throw that out there as this big nebulous goal. That’s like saying you’re going to road trip from NYC to LA, but not lay out a plan for how to negotiate all the states in between. Pick your goal, but then set objectives that will be the steps between here and there. Also, try wording your goals in a way that gives you a measurable sense of what progress looks like. And then refer to # 2 again! :o)

All in all, my friends, I hope you will all know that you have a giant power source in the form of Jehovah M’Kaddesh- “The Lord who Sanctifies”- who wants to equip and empower you to maximize the life you have been given. You’ve only got one, so make the best of it. If you are reading this and are not sure how to claim the blessing of God’s change in your life, please consider that there is an enormous blessing waiting for you if you grab it. If you want any more ideas on goal setting or tapping into God’s power, let me know. I certainly do not have all the answers, but I can point you in the direction of some resources that have been super helpful for me. I hope and pray that this new year will be one in which we all see God’s power manifested in our lives and in our world in a new and amazing way.